You meet someone special, go on dates, you get to know each other and eventually decide to spend the lifetime together. Planning to tie the knot is not a one day decision. You may easily fall in love at first sight, but marriage requires effort. You may be blessed to have caring and loving in-laws but your life and your activities are in for a spin. What you once loved and did carefree, may not be in your routine anymore. Your priorities change and you are confronted with expectations galore. I’m presenting some points that you shall consider and prepare yourself for upcoming married life.
Take time to reflect
It is very important to sit and reflect on your decision and what led you to it. You may think alone or with your partner. Discuss your expectations after marriage and sort out your individuality. You both need to be mutually prepared for the wedding. Get to know each other’s strengths, weaknesses and needs.
Your priorities and daily schedule needs to be revised after marriage. The time you spend having tea/coffee, reading newspaper or watching TV and other extra stuff shall be cut short. You need to make time to spend with each other.
Family values and lifestyle
Every family has their set of values and a specific lifestyle. As you get to know each other, you shall also be introduced to the values and beliefs held by each other’s family. It is your obligation to respect and accept them. Be supportive to one another and help to adapt to the new lifestyle.
Respect the differences
It is an essential part of being a good husband and wife. Every individual has a set of traits that may be acceptable to some but disliked by others. As long as a trait is a harmless one, you may overlook it and accept the other the way they are. This attitude can work wonders for your relationship and understanding improves.
In situations where you find that your partner or a family member has an unacceptable behavioral trait, you need to have faith on one another. Matters get resolved in a better way when you act maturely and have some patience.
You need to be prepared to receive compliments as well as criticism from each other’s family. Try and work on the negative points to maintain a balance in the relationship. On taking the criticism positively, you can challenge yourself to meet the expectations. In the process, you may come to terms with a new talent in you, which you may have been unaware of.
Expect the unexpected
Life is not all roses and petals, it has thorns as well. So, even if you are completely aware of each other’s nature, likes and dislikes, there may be times when you are taken aback by the other’s words or deeds. It may not be intentional, but the harm is done. Life provides with plenty of ups and downs, which you need to travel together after marriage. Keep each other informed of any setbacks or disappointments faced, so instead of snapping at each other, you will find solace.
Let go of your fears
You are not in-born with qualities of a good wife or a good husband, you learn those qualities as you mature. Similarly, if you are willing to get married, it is not necessary that you will become perfect and responsible overnight. It takes good amount of time and patience to learn and implement all the do’s and don’ts of a married life. So, if you feel you are still naive and not ready to get married, do not lose hope. You still have the option to jump right in and go with the flow. In the end, all that matters is to have a good heart and being a understanding person, rest of the things will follow the course.
Please Note: I had written this write-up few years back as part of a test article for one the companies that I had applied for. So, this was lying in my pile of notes, which I decided to share as I’m sure many may relate.